Thanks Christin!!

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

That's how we roll

I have had a feeling of angst as of late regarding our dietary standards. It seems that it is much less expensive to eat crap. I even got fast food for the kids the other day. I gave them the processed, pressed and shaped excuse for chicken, went home and cried. I hoped that these recent lifestyle alterations, however temporary, would not have my children mislead on what their nutritional values should be. Today in the car Kaitlynn had a very small smoothie recipe book in her hand. It was a gift and most of the selections are ways to conjure up an adult beverage, but seeing as how she can not yet read and would not be aware of what vodka and rum were she has more or less taken it over. So she sat in her car seat making pretend smoothies. This is her recipe:

-one egg
-a scoop of peanut butter
-a little bit of sugar
-a big scoop of protein powder
-some nuts
Blend, blend, blend(but don't forget to smash the nuts first)
At that moment I had renewed hope that just because she had a chicken nugget all was not lost.

"Mom can't Christmas just be about presents?"

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

It's the most wonderful time of the year. Christmas songs, snow, thoughts of the Savior of the world being born, gifts, lights, Santa. It's a lot to take in if you think about it. It's times like this, times of overwhelming holiday delights, that you want to make sure to maintain some perspective. For example tonight, after one of the worst days in a very long time, I watched "Family Man". You know that movie? Yes the movie, not the crude cartoon guy on TV. Anyway, I watched it and I got my perspective back. I'm not sure it's the same however with children. I have really tried to make sure Kaitlynn understands that Christmas is not about what you get but more about giving and love and Jesus Christ and many more drawn out explanations of the true spirit of the season. I really thought I was getting through. I even gave myself a little mental "pat on the back" if you will, which always leads to trouble so I should know better than to jinx the situation. The other day at the introduction to another one of my speeches, Kaitlynn cut me off with,"Mom, can't Christmas just be about presents?! It would just be easier!" I was crushed. I failed. However, being ever mindful of her mother and sensing my dismay she made another pass to rectify the situation. "Ok, It can be about love, but can I still just get a present?" Apparently I had mislead her to believe that having to true spirit of Christmas in you heart means no gifts for you. Your on the nice list but you don't get so much as a lump of coal. It's amazing she had been such a good sport about it for this long really. That's quite hard pill to swallow for an almost five year old. After a simpler explanation on how it all works she perked right up with a very cheerful, "I love Christmas time!" and off she went. Then we ate French toast. It was delicious and I was happy to have finally given her some guidance that wasn't confusing. That's what I get for trying to be a good mom. Some day she'll grow up and just be able to watch a movie.

To: MIMA

Friday, December 11, 2009

From: Kaitlynn

Here mom

Saturday, December 5, 2009







This is as close as I could get you to the Rockstar Unbirthday Party of 2009.



One is the loneliest number..

Monday, November 30, 2009

I'm quite sure that you know that song. I never actually liked it. I'm not particularly attracted to lonely songs. Very sad. But of course that's not my point. I wrote once about all the chicks in the nest, don't you think it would be far less fun if you were the only chick. The thing is that lately I've really been feeling that three is a very big number. As I walked into Sam's Club today with my two little ducklings in tow, holding hands and giving me that feeling that life had that perfect magical quality like it does in the movies, I thought, "this would be alot harder while lugging a car seat. They really are very heavy. Maybe it's dangerous to admit but before I was brave enough to throw away my last few pills, right before I became pregnant with Kaitlynn, I seriously considered putting it off on account of car seat strain. I was right. To get pregnant and that car seats are ridiculously heavy and unmanageable. There are times that it felt as if my arm was going to snap off while trying to juggle that baby basket around, but truly you have no choice because if you find a way to make it comfortable or if you make the mistake of putting it down you will be punished by an awakened angry baby. There was a bit of unease that clouded my thoughts even hours later, and then another thought. It may have been last year or the year before I saw an advertisement on TV. Now they may have been selling clothes or cookware or what have you, but there were five daughters all grown and elegant and beautiful helping their mother set a fancy table for their holiday dinner. I cried and told Adam that we had to have five daughters so that we could have that same perfect holiday magic. A few tissues later, when the magic of that well placed picture had loosened it's hold on me, I came to my senses. I realized that I would have to be pregnant for each one of those daughters to be mine. A very sobering reality. But I'm very glad it won't just be one. Two daughters and a son. That is what I get in my nest. It's what I had growing up and it makes for a very pleasant picture in my mind. What if my mother would have decided that car seats were very heavy and only had one. Yes, Christin is a beautiful daughter with a list of amiable attributes to make a parent very proud, but I think when it came right down to it she would be a lonely little chick in that nest. Plus she was a very fussy baby. I blame breast feeding. I'm just glad my mother filled the nest. She didn't make things crowded like some of you over achievers, not that there is anything wrong with 16 children, it's just not for everyone. Just happy and filled. That's what I get. I think miss Perri Marie will like it too.

My Finest Hour

Sunday, November 22, 2009

There are a myriad of cliches and sayings in this world for a very good reason. Sticking your foot in your mouth, here's your sign, etc. People are stupid. We make idiots of ourselves on a regular basis. Well perhaps not you but definitely me. Yes I have quite the treasure of "what as I thinking" memories in my scrapbook of life. I've collected quite a number of "can she say that?!" type looks from onlookers as I've spouted out my take on life while the victim of my verbal onslaught usually stands frozen from the shock. I would of course take it back but the unfortunate truth is that I usually have meant every last word and in true Carbiener fashion I eventually convince myself that they will somehow benefit from experiencing my point of view. Surprisingly enough, it' s worked before. I once told a new hire at Vanity that she had no soul. She was becoming numb to the things in life that would really make her happy and that if she didn't change her life she would end up at the bottom of a slippery drunken slope of nothingness. Then I gave her a list of movies to watch and told her to write down her feelings after each. She laughed at first, then silence, and then per my instruction she slipped the list into her purse and carried on with her tasks for the evening. Now you might think that this was a horrible mistake, I think that's what my co-workers thought based on their expressions, but I think it turned out fine. She watched all of the movies, started to regain human emotion, dumped her skeezy boyfriend, started dressing cuter, made up with her parents, and started going back to church. Yes thank you, no applause necessary(but greatly appreciated). Then there are the times that don't go well. The times I've let myself get a little out of hand, the times I listened to what my mother had to say and then instinctively (and against my better judgement)had to do the exact opposite. I think the Bridget story teaches us that. I do appreciate that she'll still talk to me, but really I know that if Adam has fear in his eyes that I am not truly in a calm state and should not be unleashed on anyone. Quite honestly with all of my shining moments it's amazing I have friends. Maybe the world is just a more forgiving place than I once perceived it to be. Maybe people have me in their lives for a little color. I've decided that Adam has chosen to find me endearing. Tonight I cut off the end of my thumb(just the fleshy part so it's ok) with the beautiful new super sharp chef's knife that he got me for my birthday, which I found painful and ironic, but he doesn't miss a beat. He listened as I complained and made faces while he got me ice. He fished out the end of my finger from amidst the chopped onions and thew it away,finished diner, and ruined my bread as he endured my rant about how useless I am when injured and how I won't stand for it, I simply don't have time for this madness. Then he quietly put the kids to bed and straightened up the kitchen so that I would eventually go to be and not further injure myself. He's a thinker that one. And soon he will be doing everything. I hate that. I will have a newborn baby and two other needy children. I will feel like I've been hit by a train, I will be ugly, my skin will look older than the years permit it to, my body will look like one of those unfortunately shaped Who's off of the "Grinch"(the one with Jim Carry, not the cartoon ), I will be sleep deprived and perhaps highly caffeinated, which in some cases can be very entertaining with a girl like me, however, when lactating my demeanor changes drastically. Oh yes this will once again be my finest hour. And while the depression will very possibly be right around the corner and he will very likely say the wrong thing(mainly because there is nothing good to say in these moments), in the end he will save the day with his mediocre housewife routine and the good looks and humor that I truly married him for and everything will be ok, except my thumb.

Winter wonder land

Saturday, November 14, 2009



When you don't grow up with snow a little flurry is much more impressive to you than to the average Joe from the North, so to my kids this white covering was irresistible.

Happy Halloween

Tuesday, November 3, 2009


Ok this one is just for the family.

Can't hardly wait

Friday, October 2, 2009

Our opinion on change in this life seems to be quite fickle. I'm sure there have been more than a few times in my life that I wanted things to stay exactly as they were, and others when I couldn't wait for change. When Kaitlynn was born I used to look at her and wish for communication. I couldn't wait for the day she turned two and could tell me what was going on inside her head. When people used to say, "Don't you just wish they would stay this tiny forever?!" I always felt guilty. I wondered if those were the thoughts of a normal mother. My thoughts were more along the lines of, "maybe you should grow up a little faster so you can sleep all night and we can watch movies together and eat popcorn and someday argue like mom and daughters do. We'll have so much fun. I can't wait to hear what you have to say. I know you're thinking funny thoughts and I'm dying to know what they are.". I was right. Kaitlynn turned two, and she was so funny. Except she never stopped talking. I didn't really plan that. She was fun most of the time and even when it was hard I loved that she was two. However I changed my tune the day she turned three. I kissed my three year old goodnight, closed the door to her room behind me, sat on the floor and sobbed. Three was not in the plans, just two. What do you do? Have another. Tate is growing up in a hurry, or he thinks he is, but he's still such a baby. So far my children have decided that if they can find a way to through out the "stubborn mom card" they will get their way and I will rock them to sleep every night for the rest of their lives. But my lap is running out of space. I keep wanting this pregnancy to hurry up but I am terrified about what to do when it's over. I'm not sure that I've been on the fence so much with my feelings about something I really have no control over. It's terrifying. Even if the reasoning behind it is completely illogical I know where I stand. So here I sit reading my pregnancy books to see if they all agree on how big this baby is today and then on the other hand trying not to think about it too much so as not to worry myself sick. That never does any good you know. I've decided that after my ultrasound in a week I will try to embrace that same feeling of pregnancy bliss that you have with your first one, when you really have no true grasp on what you are getting yourself into. And that's how it should be, ignorance is bliss.

Really, NO pressure

Friday, September 25, 2009

You know those situations in life that one mistake will result in the destruction of the entire human race? Yeah, me either. But you know what I mean, sometimes there is a lot riding on your performance. I'll be honest here, I've been feeling that way about blogging these days. I've been really feeling the heat from you folks about my lack of blog type activity. What's a girl to do? Do I just jump back into my random posts about the thoughts and feelings of my inner complexities that seem to be so amusing to my fellow bloggers, do I give a detailed update on our move to Idaho Falls (LAME), or do I just start typing and see what happens? That's right, I chose option #3. I'm kinda a "fly by the seat of my pants" kinda girl when it comes right down to it. So we moved to Idaho, Kaitlynn is still really impressed and we both can't wait for snow. I know it will suck and I hate to drive in it but every 30 to 40 ish degree morning I envision the white blanket that will soon cover our back yard that we are so in love with. Someday it will be cold enough for hot coco. Don't act like your not impressed. Do you know how many times it was cold enough in Arizona to make hot coco? That's right never. But I drank some anyway, got too hot and then turned to fan on.

Ok, what else. I'm still pregnant and I have gone to my doctor who everyone seems to like but to me comes across as an unkempt whack-job. He wears sandals with tube socks. I realize that some of you might think that last statement was shallow and not applicable to the capability of a doctor. However, if the doctor in question happens to be responsible for the birth of your new born child, and not to mention the salvation of your genitalia after the torture that we like to call the miracle of birth, you might want one that is competent enough to dress himself. Oh and by the way, closed-toed shoes are really a must in the medical profession.
The new place. I actually love. The cupboard space is amazing. If we can make it work with all of the children sleeping in the same room, then I'm golden. The garage is right off the kitchen and the kids ride bikes in there while I make dinner. Love it. The back yard is fenced but Mr. Jones is very thin and can work himself under the fence very easily. He loves the little neighbor dog and they happily run around the yard together. The kids like the slide we got for them but Tate would really rather sit at the top of the slide and watch the puppies play. It amuses him and he has a great view. Who can blame him?
Adam's job is going ok. He has a few "real go getter's" on his staff which always is a plus and I love the movies he will now watch with me. We just watched "Monsters vs Aliens" with the kids and it was pretty fun.
Oh, Kaitlynn started preschool, I was terrified, she thinks her pink sparkle pencil bag is pretty. Can you buy boundaries and/or inhibition for your children? If so please let me know the most cost effective method for that type of purchase. There are budgets to stick to you know.
Ok that's all for now. I hope that was a satisfying enough tid bit from my life. If not, there's always next time.

Mr. Jones gets humored

Friday, June 12, 2009

Having children is difficult. It's common knowledge. Adding a pet to the process does not make things any easier. Explaining the in's and out's of dog ownership to a four year old like Kaitlynn is impossible. Three weeks ago tomorrow we brought Mr.Jones home. As far as dogs go he's pretty good. He's good with the kids, he's usually fairly quiet, he's cute, and a more recent discovery, he does just fine with a babysitter. He is quickly becoming a pleasant part of the family, but just like a family member he requires maintenance to ensure he is properly cared for and this week that calls for more than a bath or the purchase of dog food, today Mr. Jones is getting neutered. Tate is busy eating and has no idea that the dog is M.I.A. for the moment but Kaitlynn, being one of the more observant and almost annoyingly inquisitive children on the planet, has been trying to wrap her mind around this procedure for quite sometime. It's been a bit of a struggle. The other day she walked into the living room and announced the type of new puppy that she would soon require. Surprised I asked, "Why do you need a new puppy, Kaitlynn, don't you love our Jones?" Her expression faded into sadness and concern with her reply,"I do love Mr. Jones but in a few days you will take him to the doctor and they will humor him and that will make me very sad, but I think a new fluffy girl puppy with a pink bow will make me fell much better." Then next few moments were filled with laughter and then immediately followed with me informing my daughter that it is neutered not humored and that I was in no way sending our new dog off to be slaughtered by a doctor and that they just needed to remove an extra piece of something that will not be missed. She still calls it being humored but she feels a little better about it.

MR. JONES

Tuesday, May 26, 2009



Here are some pictures of our new dog. He's only been with us since Sat. morning and so far it's going ok. We'll keep you posted.

Think Cold thoughts!

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

It is getting very hot outside, to non AZians (yes I mean you Idahoans) I am talking about 102's and 108's and the other day we even had a 112. Yes, Yes, it is May and we are "enjoying" 112 degree weather...... So I decided that we need to think COLD thoughts and maybe, maybe it will cool down some. Or at least slow the rise to the real heat!! I provided some images for helping the mental focus...... ah...., snow..., cold weather less than 100 million degrees..... it feels good,real good, doesn't it? (This is Adam to all of those readers, by the way, Candice enjoys the cold and snow but not quite as much as I do!)


Enjoy!!

Ron don't say it! I know you want to!!  Ron....  :-)

p.s. I like the picture of Kaitlynn all ready to go snowmobiling! She is with my dad, Steve, in Island Park, ID.





Welcome Welcome Sabath Morning

Monday, May 18, 2009

One of the wonderful things about Sunday is that you have the opportunity to dress up. Put on your Sunday best, and little sprinkle of fancy and heels and head out the door. Then you arrive only to see a crowd of people happy to see you, telling you how cute your children are. I'm certain that I was less appreciative or perhaps just less aware of this pleasant perk in my life but now it has been brought to my more immediate attention due to the color Nazis. I work in a corporate type environment where everyone must look the same. In most medical offices in these great United State the employees are allowed to where a variety of brightly colored scrubs and those that greet you at reception are dressed in a myriad of business appropriate attire. It is a grave oversight that I did not anticipate how this oppressive environment would affect an individual such as myself. I just don't feel pretty. Ever. Each day I wear black scrub pants and a white or black t-shirt. Really, EVERY DAY. I have put in my well thought out and slightly humorous plea to rectify the situation but to no avail. Lame. On Sunday morning, however, I had the desire to be fancy more than I had felt in a very long time. I put on my favorite dress, great shoes, a new necklace, and fake eyelashes. I poofed my hair with a little extra puff. I found some bangles in an old jewelry box. Then I looked in the mirror. I looked Fancy. I loved it. Kaitlynn did too, oh how she envied the fake eyelashes on my eyes and the jingling bracelets. "Mom, I think if I hold my arm like this they will fit me and I wont loose them" she begged,"Please mom I love them, they sound kinda like a bell!" I subdued her with some blush, lip gloss, and a promise to try to find cool jewelery for little kids. 

But to top off my day everyone told me I looked pretty. Maybe they saw how much I needed to hear those words or maybe they are just very kind, but I appreciated it so much. Those types of days have to potential to get us through the blah, the bad, and the drab color Nazis of our world. Thanks guys, I owe you one.

More pictures

Wednesday, May 13, 2009





Pictures






Just thought I would put some pictures up, we are a little behind on posting any.


Here we go!

Movie Lines

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

There are knock knock jokes, the blond jokes, jokes that start with "a guy walks into a bar..", and then there are movie lines. To tell you the truth when someone says,"Oh, I heard this great joke!" I cringe inside. In some cases a habitual joke teller is someone who has never been funny. I know, so sad, two tears. However, the clever cat that whips out a perfectly timed movie line wins my immediate admiration. The first time I got in trouble at my new job was when Dena and I were in the lab popping off movie lines and laughing until our faces hurt and our eyes watered. Oh the cherished memories. I believed that movie lines were a form of entertainment I would always enjoy with my friends, but much to my delight it doesn't have to end there. Kaitlynn can do movie lines!!! I know, round of applause! It's truly fantastic. The other day she forgot something in the car and let out a rather gruff sounding, "BY THUNDARA!!" (a very popular Thunder Cat-ism for those of you who are out of the loop when it comes to cool cartoons from the 80's). I was so proud. Imitation and perfect timing. She's a super star. Tonight she spouted out another and earned herself a Barbie Buck. I think it important to reward greatness. With any luck she will grow up funny and never have to attempt a knock knock joke.

Flair

Monday, March 23, 2009


There is at different times in our lives a certain socially acceptable level of flair. Too much flair in your adult years will give you a label such as fashion forward or eccentric. However when you are either very young or very old you are able to get away with much more. Take a cartoon character for example. If you are in a grocery store and you see a three year old little girl sporting a Mini mouse sweat shirt you think, "Ooh, I bet her parents took her to Disney Land." the same top on a women in her thirty's could perhaps evoke a less endearing type of emotion. Then again a woman who has entered her golden years and is well covered in this respect has us all feeling grateful that she got dressed this morning. So it is with good reason that we should let our little girls wear anything they want while they can still get away with it. But the Bonnie in me resists. I admit that it is hard for me from time to time to let Kaitlynn go to the grocery store in her favorite princess gown and I just can't seem to ever say yes to an outing in her favorite night gown. What am I afraid of? Am I scared that someone will disapprove? Experience has taught me that the majority of the other shoppers seem to appreciate a little dose of fancy in their run of the mill drudgery and show their approval by bowing and smiling at the tiny princess. Kaitlynn eats it up. I suppose the moral to this post is that if you have a big scoop of God given flair, a happy sprinkle of fancy, or simply a little spark of special, you should express it. And more importantly let your kids express it before it is replaced by inhibitions, dress codes, or perhaps saddest of all, reality.
The picture of Kaitlynn is when she decided that it was a cozy day and she didn't feel like getting her hair done. The only solution to bad hair of course is a hat. At first I told her no and then I remembered a scene from "Office Space" (that is a little inappropriate for a family blog) which illustrates that too much or too little flair, when forced upon a person, can be detrimental. So I caved. She wore that lovely ensemble all day.

Corporate Policy

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Whenever you hear someone start a sentence with "We need to go over the corporate policy on ............." you know you're in for it. I'm not saying that a corporate way is the wrong way, I'm sure in some ways it works to every one's advantage. For example, in large corporations you often get a "benefits" package which can include health, dental, and 401k. Everyone loves benefits. But there are many other policies that make some of us a little less comfortable. For example it is corporate policy to BS. In corporations they pay motivational speakers to entertain and dazzle an eager crowd of employees with ideas and techniques that will "better serve the customer" and "help us see better numbers". This can also be interpreted as screw the employee and make big bucks, but corporate people prefer not to use that type of verb-age. In fact corporations prefer that you use only words that leave you feeling warm and fuzzy or words that have been recommended by the people in HR and their lawyers. Words like "Team" and "work family" these words are used to help the more docile among us to forget about our actual families and friends at home and make us feel that it is in our best interest to be at work the majority of our waking hours on this planet. Many other words are codes that a corporation will use to define the type of employee. A employee that has no strong emotional connections in this life, does not take care of his or herself, and comes to work sick is labeled "a hard worker" (I think a more appropriate term is virus spreader)the management side of a corporation love this type. Yes you can use sick days but it is frowned on in major corporations.They work these individuals quite literally into the ground and will receive no complaints because these employees are afraid of loosing the coveted 401k and are still dreaming of their retirement years. The "hard workers" rarely consider the state that their bodies and minds will be in by those golden years and the limitations that may hinder their impending enjoyment. Another favorite of the corporate world is the "go getter" this is particularly aggressive breed of individuals who usually have an overbearing parent to blame. These people love to be right and thrive off of any praise given true or otherwise. These people will never leave the company no matter what as long as you can make them feel in charge of something, even if it's only the copy machine. Last but not least you have the "team players" or the passive aggressive. These are the lovely individuals who never complain. They appear to love each and every policy thrown their way. They love to take it up the shorts as much as possible during each and every work day in hopes that they will someday be moved to the hard worker category as a reward for their years of sacrifice. Later in life when reality settles in and they are old and falling apart they will most likely experience a nervous break down and have to be "separated" from the company much to the delight of the corporate management team. At this point they will have made a great deal of money off of this individual and will be able to higher a younger model at a lower salary. Americans are the fattest, most depressed, and most overworked people in the world. So thank you corporate Americans, enjoy those big numbers.

sniff sniff

Friday, March 13, 2009

Kids love to used their little noses to explore the world. When Kaitlynn was younger she used to smell the fake flowers in the store by bowing air out her nose instead of sucking it in. Then she would fake a delighted reaction to the imaginary pleasant sent. Our sense of smell seems to play a big role in the way we perceive our world. If something smells good we instantly like it more. A very gracious boss of mine let me go run around with my family the other day when our schedule looked a little sparse. I was thrilled to have the time to finally go to the supply house. A beauty supply house to a cosmetologist is similar to a hit of crack to a junky. I walk in the door and my whole day looks brighter. Bright bottles of nail polish, flashy flat irons in all their glory, and promising hair care and styling products with clean fresh or fruity fragrances. Now you might be thinking,"Poor Candice, she works at a dental office and doesn't get to spend all of her time absorbing delightful hair care goodness." But don't waste your time feeling bad for me, people smell good at the dental office too! Not everyone, mind you, but I'd say the majority of the patrons have the good sense to wash themselves before arriving at the office. I really love the smell of body wash or fabric softener as they sit in the chair and share their dental woes and I pretend to listen. It actually makes me like them more. Have you ever done that? Have you ever liked someone more because they smelled so good. You know what I mean. You see a guy that's kinda cute, then you get closer, breathe it all in, and suddenly you find him wildly attractive. Don't lie, you do it too. Luckily every once in a while Adam says, "ummm... you smell good." and then I know why he likes me. It's all about the smell.

Practice makes perfect

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Yesterday before going into the grocery store Kaitlynn, Adam, and I had a brief conversation about her recent conduct and how we were less than pleased. She has been a little more argumentative as of late and it can create stress for all involved. To my delight she agreed with us, apologized for her behavior, and reassured us that she would be making great efforts to correct this problem. I was a little doubtful that she would be able to keep her goals in mind throughout the grocery store given her attention span but she's four so I was prepared to cut her a little slack. The conversation in the grocery store went as follows:

Kaitlynn: Mom can I have a cookie?
Mom: No.
Kaitlynn: Ok mom.
Mom: That's a good girl, thank you for not arguing.
(five seconds later)
Kaitlynn: Mom can I have an ICEE?
Mom: No.
Kaitlynn: Ok mom. I love you.
(five seconds later)
Kaitlynn: Mom can I have those toys?
Mom: No.
Kaitlynn: Ok.

..........and so on and so forth for the majority of our time spent shopping.
Eventually I got suspicious and asked,"Kaitlynn, are you just asking for things that you know I'll say no to." She replied," Yes, I'm practicing not arguing and I'm being very good. When we get home I think I should get a treat." Sometimes I just have no ammunition for my protest with that one. So I gave her a kiss and bought her gum. I'm such a sucker.

The right side of the bed

Friday, February 27, 2009

The other morning Kaitlynn burst out of her bedroom with an exuberant," I had a GREAT nap!!!!!". She thinks bed time and nap time are the same. But she was right. She must have slept very well because the rest of the day went a little smoother. You know those days. The days when everyone around you seems to be in a good mood. It seems to be a cosmic phenomenon that the majority of the local population will all wake up on the right side of the bed on the exact same morning. Of course there are some exceptions but those people are most often fowl and are habitual "wrong siders" (yes I am aware that no one says that and putting it in quotation marks doesn't change that). However the days that start well seem to end well. Even if you did run across a bit of unpleasantness it doesn't seem to bother you as much. The kids don't seem to be as naughty, your friends seem extra kind and pleasant and you just want to give them a squeeze, you think the same about your husband and do squeeze him (and then maybe he gets a little extra affection). You notice the songs playing in the store instead of how much everything costs. The weather seems perfect to you and you pretend that you are looking forward to another summer here. Chocolate and Pepsi taste even better than thy did yesterday, the planets align and life is fantastic. I wish I could figure out how to consistently get up on the right side of the bed. However today I did and I hope you did too.

Recent Convert

Thursday, February 26, 2009

To tell you the truth I never thought that the term "recent convert" would apply to me in my life, but it has happened. I am a convert to bed time. The other night I asked Adam if we should get to bed before 10:00 pm!! Seriously, I hate every minute of it. The waking up thing is so hard but I hear it gets easier as you go. I have high hopes. I believe one of these days I will enjoy the early morning hours and I will willingly leave the comforts of my warm bed to get a jump start on the day. The unfortunate result to this new schedule is that I will have less time for blog therapy, and house work. Speaking of which, I'm off to bed.

Don't cry for me Argentina

Monday, February 23, 2009

My biggest worry in this new life transition of handing over my "mom card" to Adam and jumping into the work field was the kids. We really didn't get to ease into the situation either. Instead of having a first day at the office my first day was a trip to Florida with the company for training. I was only gone for two and a half days but just me mentioning being gone made Kaitlynn's eyes well up and then mine soon followed. There are times when Tate has a hard time without his mom as well. I could see it play out in my mind, Adam struggling to console the children sobbing in desperation for their beloved mother. However, when I each time I called to check up the children seemed fine. No tears, no desperation, no pleading for my return. Yes Kaitlynn did ask me to come home now but then followed with, "Where is your bed mommy? Are you in a castle? What's Florida?" and then returned to whatever had previously kept her limited attention. I'll have to admit that at first I was a little offended. I was slightly less of the necessity I made myself out to be. Then I was relieved. My babies were with their very capable daddy who was so fun and so wonderful that it was ok to have mommy gone. So spank on the bum for you Adam. You make an excellent Dad. But maybe you could take it down a notch though every now and then, simply for my ego.

marshmallow seeds

Monday, February 16, 2009

While we were reading the scriptures last night Kaitlynn listened intently to the descriptions given of the signs of the Saviors birth. All the believers were happy and knew that Christ had been born. The End. Yup, that was the end of the story. Kaitlynn added, "but then they all went to see baby Jesus." I explained that not everyone went to see him. Appalled by my answer she demanded an explanation for the attention the people neglected to give the Christ child. She added that even if they were far away they could have just taken an airplane to go see him. After a very brief explanation about the life style and transportation options that were available back in those times, she concluded, "Oh, they were camping, at least they had marshmallows to cook on their camp fires." I had to inform her that they had no stores in which to buy marshmallows and that they in fact had to grow much of what they ate. She processed for a moment and then came," I think they had to plant a lot of marshmallow seeds so they wouldn't run out." Now that's thinking. If I had marshmallow seeds I would make sure to plant a lot so I wouldn't run out. Especially if I spent all of my days around a campfire. Yes that would be a nightmare for me, endless camping. But I admire her thoughtfulness about the life of the Nephites and Lamanites. Tomorrow we will build a time machine to deliver our fresh crop of marshmallows. They are gonna be stoked.

whelmed

Thursday, February 5, 2009

"I know you can be overwhelmed and underwhelmed, but can you ever just be whelmed?"-Ten things I Hate About You. I haven't seen that movie in so long but tonight as I watched my husband stress a bit about life and all of our goings on I thought, "Oh my sweet, you jump right into overwhelmed." It's not that he has a freak out every ten minutes but he definitely needs to talk the events of his day out to calm his system. On the other hand I get reved up to the whelmed point, if there was such a state of mind, and rarely enter into overwhelmed. You might be thinking, "That's not true, I've met you, you're a basket case!" and this is true but you see basket case is my normal level at which I run my life. You see? I am usually high strung so my system feels normal at that level. Even tonight with a big day ahead of me and at least a liter of Pepsi running though my body, yes I fell off the wagon days ago and am now a closet drinker once again, even with all my stresses I'm feeling relatively calm. Is it that I'm so confident in my abilities that in my mind nothing can go wrong? No, no , It's that I put myself in a beautiful state of denial. I tell myself everything will just work out, Pepsi is good for you in a way that the scientists have not yet discovered, I will be prettier and thinner in the morning even if I don't work out. This is a happy place to be. Some have called it "Candice land", one of my good friends once told me that if I could bottle it I could make a fortune, and she's probably right.(off to the La-Bor-itory!!!-Dexter's laboratory) Anyways if I ever do find out how to bottle this blissful state of denial I will make my millions and share it with all of you. But only the ones who comment on my blog. The rest of you are dead to me.

The butcher, the baker, and the candlestick maker

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

I've always felt that the more trades, jobs, skills, or what have you, that I could learn the better. I've often told Adam that when we're done having children and they are all in school we are going to open our own plaza. We will have a gym, a salon, a shoe boutique, a bakery, and whatever else we want. I've also told him before this happens I need to go to culinary school. Just think of it. I just can't imagine a more productive corner of town. You wake up in the morning and head to the gym, then you hit the showers and go next store to the beauty salon were you get a quick style. You grab your morning paper out of the machine out by the curb and then go into the bakery for you favorite eggs and toast. After your delightful and productive morning, and before you rush off to work, you look in the shop window of the charming boutique that you parked in front of and you see a pair of polka dot peekaboo pumps that scream, "You may never have the guts to wear me but if you don't buy me this very minute you will die!!!!!". So you check your watch to ensure that your perfect record in promptness will not be effected by this impulse and rush into the store for the shoes. On your way to work you contemplate what the girls at work will say about your perfect hair and stylish shoes, how you will delight in the envy you see in their eyes, and of course where you will hide the shoes so that your daughter never decides to borrow them.
Now that is worth waking up for. And it will mine, all be mine!!! (insert evil laugh) I will be the master of the universe, or the plaza, it depends entirely on your perspective.

well, actually, I'm just a kid

Monday, February 2, 2009

Kaitlynn has always been my....well...I guess you could say my other half. I always felt like we were on the same page, like it was impossible to have a miscommunication between our minds. Unfortunately there are times that this seems to work out to our disadvantage. How? you might ask, I forget she is small. The other day in the car Papa was trying to convince her that she was destined to play softball and enjoy every minute of little league until that day. Confused , and perhaps a little annoyed, at how he could possibly expect her to be playing this sport as she had seen on TV in all it's adult type glory she responded,"Papa I'm actually just a kid! Could you probably wait?!" Yes she's funny, but It's times like this when I think, "oh yeah, you are just a kid".
There are other statements and/or questions as well. For example, as she's coughing I say "Oh sweetie did your drink go down the wrong tube?", and then as she regains her composure, processes my question, and answers, "Maybe the water just got lost and no one told him were to go." And then there was the perplexing, "Mom how do we talk? What makes the noise and how does it come out?". Try explaining that one to a four year old. Even after all of this evidence of her innocence and youth when I am frustrated and think my patience is gone I still have to remind myself, "Candice, she is four, just four." I hope I always can keep in mind that no matter how connected I think we are, we are not the same person (thank goodness) and I hope I always feel connected to my kids even when they're no longer just little.

Shake it baby!

Thursday, January 29, 2009

It's very difficult to catch all of your baby's new tricks on camera because once they see it the performance is over. Luckily I got him started before I hit the button so he didn't see. I'm so sneaky. "Where's Tate", "I'm gonna get you", and "If your happy and you know it" will soon follow if I can catch him in the act. But for now this one is probably the favorite anyway.

The Silver Screen

Sunday, January 25, 2009

I love movies. I really do. I love that they have the ability to calm you and to change your mood and to make you feel what the people in the movies are feeling. It's magic. If I had my choice and a little more time I would watch more movies and have more sex. I know people are supposed to say they'd like to find more time to read but seriously, we know they're lying. At one time I considered being an actress. I think I was twelve and I got the idea from my mother. She would say it about me as a nice way of saying," this child is dramatic and I hope she makes lots of money so that I can get some kind of thanks for having the patients to raise her." I knew what she meant. Still I thought this might be for me, until of coarse I entered a drama class room in high school and that changed my outlook completely. So I no longer wanted to pursue a career as an actress or be a star, but I still loved the outcome of these productions. A beautiful actress, the perfect dress, the perfect leading man that makes you want to jump into the screen and suck his perfect face off, the happily ever after. No wonder we're smitten with Hollywood. We should be. They put in a lot of hard work for our viewing pleasure. Thank you actors, for being a drama nerd, for putting yourselves through long hours on the set, for making your E True Hollywood story so that we can all feel like we know you and have the right to judge your personal life decisions, all so that you can make millions of dollars, and I can turn a quiet night in, into a relaxing movie night....and then some.

Sisters

Have you ever seen parent trap? NO not the new one with Lindsey Lohan, yes it's kinda cute, but you spend much of the show still not liking her so it's not the same. The old one. "Let's get together ya ya ya!" I loved that show. It would be so crazy to have a sister and never know her. But the cool thing is that they're so jazzed to find each other. It's like a newly found treasure. That big pile of gold sitting right in front of you. You have a sister. I guess it was my sister that got to hear these words. To tell you the truth I have no idea if she was excited or not. She was only two, but I'm nearly certain that at two she truly felt at least ten, and then by four thought she was twenty, and she still does. It may have seemed to her like she was a preteen who was just given her first baby sitting job. She always seemed older to me as well. I can't even tell you how many times I've call he mom on accident. Yes, she seemed to want to be an adult and she sucked at Barbies, but we had fun. So many pictures of us in matching clothes with puffy 80's bangs. I love having a sister. She differed from me just enough that it worked perfectly. It's not like we never had fights but to tell you the truth I can't remember her being mean to me and I think we fought about me not cleaning our room. I want that for Kaitlynn. I know that's not how it works, just fill out the order form and sign here and one perfect sister will arrive in 5 to 7 business days, but that's what I want. I want them to adore each other, look at pictures of themselves and laugh, take care of each other, call each other when they really need a friend. Because that's what a sister is, at least for me. A sister is a best, built in, loves you the most, call me whenever, vent to me about anything, knows just what to say, always keeps in touch, you can look up to, always takes care of you, has your same shoe size (and will let you wear them) best friend. And I'm so glad I have mine.

First Steps

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Tate is eight months old and has decided that he can walk. Not just for anything mind you, he'd prefer a prize at the end if he's going to put forth that much effort. Anyways, here it is.

Addiction

Tuesday, January 13, 2009


I've gone almost three months before without a sip of Pepsi only to slip right back into my old habits. It's so sad. The real trouble is that I wasn't sure what the trouble was. Until now. I tried to stop for my health. Oh please, I should have known that one was doomed for failure right from the beginning. We care very little for ourselves sometimes. My next source of motivation was to stop for Kaitlynn. A noble cause to be sure. Although there is a high probability that she will drink soda in her later teen years I thought it would be best if she didn't pick up the habit from me. I'm not a huge fan of seeing a two year old sucking down their mom's big gulp. I know it's not going to kill them but it sure isn't going to help them out either. Tragically I found a loop hole in that plan, I became a closet drinker. If she doesn't see it, it never happened. That worked until Kaitlynn caught me a few times. She is a very observant child. Plus " do as I say not as I do" never works. I needed a new angle. What was it that brought me back to the blue can of pleasure? I liked it. I loved the taste and the tingle and the way it tasted after salty chips or Mexican food. I had to not like it. I had to convince myself it was yucky. Sounds insurmountable? There are many great lessons that Bonnie has taught us. Snippets of her wisdom to be used on our way. The one that I needed for this task in life was, "If you tell yourself it's great, it will be." This is one of those things that as a child infuriated me to no end. "Mom, this is nasty!" I'd say. "No, I think it's good. You like it. You liked it last time we had it." It was as if she was under the impression that my taste buds were deceiving me and that if I opened my mouth for another bite all would be well and delicious. I couldn't have liked this last time we had it. Further more even if I had this dish in a previous life I was certain my opinion of pure discussed would remain the same. But she pressed on, and she's still at it today. My favorite example is anti-oxidant stew. Cooked spinach, stewed tomatoes, carrots, onions, water and the kitchen sink. It smells up the whole house and looks more unappealing than it sounds, but she wants you to think it's good. She makes sound effects, "Ummm..this tastes so good!" she seems to admire it as she stirs and she will always offer it to you adding a list of it's many health benefits and the desirable taste sensation that awaits your mouth. She does it so often I believe by this point she really does enjoy it in a way. So that is what I will do, I will tell myself I hate Pepsi. I will make believe that it is as disgusting as my mothers healthy stew and then maybe someday, I will truly believe it. I will break the addiction.

Game day

Saturday, January 10, 2009

The super bowl is coming up. Small talk has shifted from, "This week was so busy" to "Did you see the game?" and our answer is always no. We just don't follow sports. I like the Super Bowl but not for the love of the game as much as it's a good excuse to have a get together and eat appetizers in place of a balanced entree. However, I could watch Tate play football for hours. Before I started filming this clip Tate had thrown the football a number of times around the kitchen and I thought, "It's really too bad that I enjoy this more than a winning touch down." Oh well, hope you think it's cute and I hope you enjoy your game day.

Do you dream in spanish?

Friday, January 9, 2009

When Brad got home from his mission and spoke Spanish very well, someone asked him, "Do you dream in Spanish or English?" his response escapes me for the moment. And honestly how would one know the answer to such a question? My question is what does your inner monologue sound like? The voice in your mind that speaks before you do, In what language does it speak? Does it have an accent of any kind? We all have a perception of how our voices sound to others, and we are usually wrong. How many times have you heard someone say, "Is that what I sound like?" when listening to a recording of themselves on an answering machine or any other type of device? We don't know what we sound like. There was a guy in high school that I knew that had a lisp. He had no idea. I was not aware of his ignorance until one day he was listening to a recording of his voice, stopped, and demanded, "Is that what I sound like?!". There have been few times in my life when I've literally bitten my own tongue in an attempt not to laugh. In fact I couldn't even look at him. I just stood, teeth clenched, until someone changed the subject. Isn't it interesting that we each have a unique inner system that we may have never considered just as vague as the notion of dreaming in a second language? Think about it. I have asked Adam countless times throughout our relationship, "What are you thinking?" and the answer is, "Nothing". Nothing!!! with all of the random things that pop out of his mouth he has the audacity to say nothing! But It's the truth. There are many times when his inner thoughts are turned off. How I long for that as I lay in bed at night and wish for sleep. To tell you the truth my inner monologue is rarely off and sometimes it seems to have a British accent which is confusing to me and hard to get rid of. What is yours like? Are you more pleasant in your head? Do you have an accent? Do you sound different or fairly similar to your recorded tones on the answering machine? Do you hear nothing but static? Maybe you can't answer because you haven't listened. Maybe you will listen today.

useless

Thursday, January 8, 2009

We put so much of our perceived self worth in what we can do for others. We cook, we clean, we make phone calls, we give rides, we compliment, we give affection, all in the hope that the people around us know how much we love them, but when it is no longer our turn to give we unfortunately feel like our worth in our eyes as well as in our loved ones eyes had faded. I fear that day. It's hard enough when you are sick and can't run our normal errands or tidy things up, but what happens when you know you won't get better. You are old. The thousands of meals you've made over the years, the people you've taught with your love and wisdom, the places you've traveled, the people you've cared for, it all counts for little in your mind as you sit and watch the world carry on without you in your body and mind that now hold you back. Will I be able to relax and feel at peace that my work on this earth has been great and I am now able to rest? Not likely. No, the probability is much greater that I will feel useless. So I will patiently read to my sweet great grandchildren as many books as they will let me. I will hobble back and forth trying to clear the table after each meal to feel as though I've tidied up the house. I will talk to old friends on the phone and tears may run down my cheeks as I am caught up in all of the happy memories of my younger years. I will give praise and love and heart felt gratitude for everything thing that the people in my life now give to me, because gratitude and love are what I have to give in abundance. I will be sweet and happy and more fully appreciate each bright and sunny day and all of the beautiful things on this earth. If all this is true, I will be truly grateful, I will be like my Nana and I will be of great worth.

Sunless Tanner

Monday, January 5, 2009


"Being tan is the secret to happiness, I'm tan and I'm always happy"- Mary Catherine Grebee. Mary Catherine said this to her sister when she was about three years old and it has always stuck with me, and for the most part I agree. Ok except for the real stuff in life like God, family, world peace(blah blah blah). I mean if you think about it, being tan is happy. That beautiful color of cocoa butter brown. It's that healthy glow. It hides any blemishes, brings out your eye color, makes you look thinner, and really and truly it makes you want to be naked. Seriously, happy, healthy, and naked, it's a complete package. There have been times in my life when I have truly stepped out of the shower and said to myself,"Self, have you gained weight?" and instead of telling myself to stop drinking Pepsi I say,"we need to be more diligent at our sunless tanner application!" and I say it in a sort of Stern way so I know that I mean business. So I do it. I smooth that smelly lotion, gel, spray,or whatever is on hand, all over me, and I feel better. No I don't look better, but I know something very appealing awaits me in the morning. Tan legs. But that's if you have the good stuff. However I have recently had the misfortune to be disappointed in my tanning products. There have truly been occasions where I have awakened to find that my legs looked like I had the time to sun myself all afternoon and when standing in front of the mirror I was under the impression that I had lost a few pounds, and I was very pleased. But not these products. These little treasures promise so much yet give so little. Some I have to apply over and over to get even an ounce of satisfaction, and some are just glitter. If I wanted to be glittered like a kindergarten craft project I could just roll myself in glitter glue and blame my over the top appearance on some mishap at the glitter factory and then assure those who gawk at me that I have since fired all of those careless employees and they have nothing to fear. But that's just not the look I'm going for, nor do I have the time for such stories and explanations. Maybe as a publicity stunt later in life when my reality show tanks and I'm staved for attention. Where are the good sunless tanners? Have you found one? The last product I had the pleasure of using was made by Hawaiian Tropics and was a moisturising gel of some sort, but it seems that the manufacturer realized what a gem he/she really had and pulled it from the retail shelves to keep it for his/herself. (greedy bastard) You're not the only one with needs! Every Sunday morning I spray my legs tan so as not to offend the other members of the congregation, almost every night I spread that ridiculous sparkle, or quick drying(that means non moisturizing) lotion on myself, and for what?!! I am still pasty! My hideous chicken skin will soon be revealed! Curses!!!! What's a girl to do? If you have found a wonderful product to ease my suffering, please post, and if you do not own and/or are not familiar with these types of products, shame on you! Either for being naturally tan and making the rest of us look bad or for not taking care of yourself, it matterith not.

Say it isn't so!!!!

Sunday, January 4, 2009

I've been letting this one stew in my mind for long enough and it's time to post. Why do others predict horrible things for us in our future and are they true? I'll start with an example to help you follow my winding road of thoughts. When you have kids people say things like, "Oh, he/she's so cute, but just wait before you know it you'll be tearing your hair out and you'll realize you haven't showered in a week!" Ok that was a slight exaggeration but seriously you know exactly what I'm talking about. People love to tell you how much your going to hate your life in the near future. Why is that? The sad thing is I'm not sure that I haven't commited the same small crime against humanity. It's such a shame. Now I realize that things get rough, but there has not been a time in my entire life, even at girls camp, when I have gone even close to a week without a shower and my babies like to pull my hair but I've never caught myself in the act. But what about this one? "After you have your third/fourth baby the weight never comes off, ever!" Really, everyone was a rail until baby number three or four-ish? Of course I'm excluding people like Jenny Beck who could single handily repopulate a city, gain a minimum of fifty pounds with each pregnancy, and still be almost six foot and weigh twelve pounds. I'm talking about normal people, does that really happen? And if so, why? Here's another, "Don't spend too much time at the gym, it'll ruin your marriage." Ummm.... Who goes to the gym more than they need to? Working out hurts. If your going to the gym to kick it instead of going home I'm pretty sure you already have problems. And then there is the ever popular and a personal favorite, "Did you hear about that study they did?" The "study" that they are referring to is always going to be applicable to you and will always foresee your slow and painful demise. It's going to be unpleasant and you don't want to hear it, and you'll make it known, but they're going to tell you anyway because if they don't tell you they might feel personally responsible for sending you to an early grave. But here it is, the study. Somewhere in the media there is circling a report of a useless study funded most likely by your tax dollars that may or may not be true(there is no real way to tell) and here is what these brilliant minds have concluded: You are not eating enough of something, you are eating/drinking too much of something else, you are or will be poisoning yourself with unknown chemicals and you've been doing it for years, there are germs in many more places than you have considered at this point in your life, you're a bad parent, your fertility is declining, teenage pregnancy is rising, you will never save enough money, the government is going into the toilet no matter who is president, crime is always at an all time high, the environment is destroyed, one in every___pick a number_______people is a dangerous phsycopath, and you need to watch the news and other media outlets to be better informed on what and who will most likely destroy your life tomorrow. Good luck sleeping! Just once I would like to hear,"Just you wait, in a few short years you'll have reached all of your goals, your children and husband will all adore you, and you'll be pretty, really pretty with great hair and cute shoes." Now that I'll choose to believe.

Hey mom, wanna play Barbies?

Thursday, January 1, 2009


This was a phrase used in a recent Barbie add at the end of the riveting movie, "Barbie and the Diamond Castle". Most advertisements I can easily sweep into the "crooks at Matel " catagory, but this one hit home. I just might be the Matel Ceo's dream. The mom who loved Barbies. I can't remember my first Barbie. My mom kept some of her old Barbies and gave them to me and then I added my own collection. Holiday Barbie, Happy Birthday Barbie, with those beautiful gowns and tiny shoes. My mother hated the shoes and all tiny Barbie accessories. If things ever took a turn for the worse in life (I mean a real nose dive) and I ended up on one of those talk shows with my mother for no good reason, I would be sure to bring up the fact that she threw away Barbie shoes. No I'm not truely bitter but Kaitlynn's Barbies will have shoes to choose from when they go out. Yes Kaitlynn's Barbies. She has reached the age that I have longed for since I packed all my little dolls away, she is learning how to play Barbies. I saved all of mine from when I was young. Barbie, Ken, Skipper, Kevin, Kelly, and all the horses and clothes and then some. This year for Christmas she got some of her own and she is learning how to play. Now some of you might be thinking, "learning how to play, as if it's hard?", and my response to you is, if you're asking this question you probably were not a Barbie girl as a child. Christin was not. Oh, she sucked at playing Barbies, she wanted to play school(lame) but I still loved her. I actually have encountered some axiety as to wether or not Kaitlynn would be unable to embrace the Barbie magic, but she's catching on. She likes it so much in fact that about every 20 minutes she asks, "Hey mom, wanna play Barbies?" which I always do but I haven't stopped bathing, cleaning, or making meals yet so the answer is sometimes "no", but when Tate is asleep and leftovers are in the fridge it is on. She's not a pro as of yet but it's so much fun to get them dressed up and then see the look on her face when I've thought up a clever plot that she's excited to go along with. I hope when she gets older she will get to have a daughter who loves Barbies and she'll call me and say, "Mom, guess what we did today! We played Barbies!"